~~~ FYI ~~~
Telling a femme that they are “too much” – when they speak up about being hurt, or if they simply try to express their feelings for you – is in line with misogynistic behavior.
Truth be told, if you tell ANYONE that their expressing that you have hurt them//being vulnerable is “too intense / heavy” you’re affirming your participation in the patriarchy, and probably gas lighting them/in denial about your actions.
I’m tired of my openness being shamed.
“…and I’m disgusted with dreams now — I want real things — live people to take hold of — to see — and to talk to — Music that makes holes in the sky —”— Georgia O’Keeffe, in a letter to Anita Pollitzer, from Georgia O’Keeffe: Art and Letters
White fragility is so real…
My friend stayed at my house last night, and came with me to work this morning because it was in the direction of where he needed to go today. ((LA is huge; hitching a ride with friends happens often.))
He came in to the gallery to charge his phone before going on to the gallery where he was to sit for the day.
He fell asleep on the couch we have upstairs.
My coworker found him there as she was giving someone a tour and asked him to leave. On his way out, he stopped by her desk and said, “Just so you know, I’m not some rando. I came to see the show and charge my phone. I’m a friend of Inga’s.”
She called me and told me, “You have to let me know when you have friends here! He was sleeping on the couch!!” She sounded very perturbed.
After I said goodbye to my friend, and asked him what exactly he had said to her, I called her to neutralize the situation. I asked her what happened and she said, “He made me feel like a racist bitch!!”
My friend is black.
My coworker is white.
I wasn’t there to hear the tone of what was said, but nothing my friend said had anything to do with either of their skin colors, yet she felt he was making her feel “racist” by asking him to leave.
